The Best Weird Al Yankovic Songs

21 Best Weird Al Yankovic Songs (list with chords & lyrics)

If you’re seeking out the greatest Weird Al Yankovic songs ever made, you have come to the right page. Here’s our picks for the most legendary Weird Al Yankovic tracks for you to hear as soon as possible.

We have listed the greatest tracks with their words plus guitar chords. So feel free to sing and play along to these classics as well!

Like A Surgeon

Like A Surgeon Guitar Chords & Lyrics
[Intro]
C   C   C   C
 
[Verse 1]
          C
I finally made it through med school. Somehow I made it through.
Dm                                       C
   I'm just an intern, I still make a mistake or two.
      C
I was last in my class. Barely passed at the institute,
        Dm               Am         Dm         Am                 Gsus4 G Gadd9 G
Now I'm trying to avoid,    yah I'm trying to avoid a malpractise suit.
 
[Chorus 1]
            C
Hey, like a surgeon, cuttin' for the very first time,
       Dm             C
Like a surgeon, organ transplants are my line.
 
[Verse 2]
               C
Better give me all your gause nurse, this patient's fading fast.
Dm                                           C
   Complications have set in, don't know how long he'll last.
       C
Let me see, that I.V. Here we go - time to operate.
              Dm            Am          Dm      Am                  Gsus4 G Gadd9 G
I'll pull his indsides out,    pull his insides out and see what he ate.
 
[Chorus 2]
       C
Like a surgeon, hey, cuttin' for the very first time,
       Dm                C
Like a surgeon, here's a waiver for you to sign.
 
[Bridge]
Am D    Am  D    Am  D    Am  G
     Woaho,   woaho,   woaho.
 
[Verse 3]
       C
It's a fact - I'm a quack, the disgrace of the A.M.A.
          Dm            Am        Dm       Am                  Gsus4 G Gadd9 G
'Cause my patients die,    yah my patients die before they can pay.
 
[Chorus 3]
       C
Like a surgeon, hey, cuttin' for the very first time,
       Dm                C
Like a surgeon, got your kidneys on my mind.
       C
Like a surgeon, ooh like a surgeon,
             Dm                              C
When I reach inside, with my scalpel, and my forceps, and retractors.
 
[Outro]
   C               Dm
Oh oh, oh oh, woe, oh.
          C
Ooh baby,   yah.
                C
I can hear your heartbeat for the very last time.
 
Dm  Dm  C   C
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Another One Rides The Bus

This parody of Queen’s Another One Bites The Dust is not just hilarious, it’s also incredibly catchy! A great song by Weird Al, be sure to check this one out!

Another One Rides The Bus Guitar Chords & Lyrics
Capo 5th fret
 
 
Em
Riding in the bus down the boulevard
                         Am
And the place was pretty packed (Yeah!)
Em
Couldn't find a seat so I had to stand
                         Am
With the perverts in the back
       C               G
It was smelling like a locker room
          C                 G
There was junk all over the floor
C                       G
We're already packed in like sardines
          Am                  B
But we're stopping to pick up more, look out
 
 
Em                    Am
Another one rides the bus
Em                    Am
Another one rides the bus
 Em                   Em
Another comes on and another comes on
Em                    Am
Another one rides the bus
F#m
Hey, who's gonna sit by you
                      B
Another one rides the bus
 
 
Em
There's a suitcase poking me in the ribs
                       Am
There's an elbow in my ear
Em
There's a smelly old bum standing next to me
                     Am
Hasn't showered in a year
C                     G
I think I'm missing a contact lens
  C                 G
I think my wallet's gone
      C                 G
And I think this bus is stopping again
   Am                           B
To let a couple more freaks get on look out
 
 
Em                    Am
Another one rides the bus
Em                    Am
Another one rides the bus
 Em                   Em
Another comes on and another comes on
Em                    Am
Another one rides the bus
F#m
Hey, who's gonna sit by you
                      B
Another one rides the bus
 
 
 
Another one rides the bus
 
Another one rides the bus ow
 
Another one rides the bus hey hey
 
Another one rides the bus hey-ey-ey-ey ey ey eyyyyyy
 
 
Em
The window doesn't open and the fan is broke
                       Am
And my face is turning blue (Yeah)
Em
I haven't been in a crowd like this
                        Am
Since I went to see the Who
       C                          G
Well I should've got off a couple miles ago
      C                   G
But I couldn't get to the door
      C                        G
There isn't any room for me to breathe
    Am                      B
And now we're gonna pick up more yeaaah
 
 
Em                    Am
Another one rides the bus
Em                    Am
Another one rides the bus
 Em                   Em
Another comes on and another comes on
Em                    Am
Another one rides the bus
F#m
Hey, who's gonna sit by you
                      B
Another one rides the bus.
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Eat It

Eat It Guitar Chords & Lyrics
[Main Riff]
 
e|------------------------|----------------------|
B|------------------------|----------------------|
G|--------5-2--4--2-------|--------5-2--4--2-----|
D|------2------------5-5--|------2------------5--|
A|--0-3-------------------|--0-3-----------------|
E|------------------------|----------------------|
 
 
[Verse 1]
 
Am                           G
How come you're always such a fussy young man?
          Am                            G
Don't want no Captain Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran
          F                             G
Well don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan
     Am        G
So eat it, just eat it
Am                           G
Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate
Am                                    G
Don't want to hear about what kind of food you hate
    F                            G
You won't get no desert till you clean off your plate
   Am            G
So eat it, don't tell me you're full
 
 
[Chorus 1]
 
Am           G       Am                      G
Just eat it, eat it, get yourself an egg and beat it
Am                      G
Have some more chicken, have some more pie
Am                   G
It doesn't matter if it's broiled or fried
Am           G       Am           G
Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it
 
 
[Verse 2]
 
Am                       G
Your table manners are a crying shame
Am                                             G
You're playin' with your food, this ain't some kind of game
F                                           G
Now if you starve to death you'll just have yourself to blame
   Am           G
So eat it, just eat it
Am                        G
You better listen, better do what you're told
Am                                 G
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole
F                             G
You better chow down or it's gonna get cold
   Am              G
So eat it, I don't care if you're full
 
 
[Chorus 2]
 
     Am      G       Am                     G
Just eat it, eat it, open up your mouth and feed it
Am                     G
Have some more yogurt, have some more Spam
Am                    G
It doesn't matter if it's fresh or canned
Am           G       Am                   G
Just eat it, eat it, don't you make me repeat it
Am             G
Have a banana, have a whole bunch
Am                     G
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch
 
        Am
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
   Am
Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
 
 
[Guitar solo]
 
 
[Chorus 3]
 
     Am      G       Am                     G
Just eat it, eat it, if it's getting cold reheat it
Am                 G
Have a big dinner, have a light snack
Am                       G
If you don't like it,you can't send it back
Am           G       Am                      G
Just eat it, eat it, get yourself an egg and beat it
Am                      G
Have some more chicken, have some more pie
Am                   G
It doesn't matter if it's broiled or fried
Am           G       Am                  G
Just eat it, eat it, don't you make me repeat it.....
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Smells Like Nirvana

Smells Like Nirvana Guitar Chords & Lyrics
[Intro]
E A G C  x6
 
 
[Verse]
E         A      G
What's This Song All About.
C               E
 I Cant Figure Any Lyrics Out
A              G
 How Do The Words To It Go
C         E
I'd Wish You Let Me Know I Don't Know
A        G     C     E
Don't Know Don't Know Don't Know Don't Know X2
E        A    G     C
Now I'm Mumbling Now I'm Screamin'
C        E
And I Don't Know What I'm Singing
   A           G
Crank Up Volume Ears Are Bleeding
    C           E
I Still Don't What I'm Singing
A                G
 Where So Loud And Incoherent
C         E       A     G
Boy This Oughta Bug Your Parent
C
Yeah
Fm
Bleurgh
C
Haai
E     A         G         C          E
Its Unintelligible I Just Cant Get It Through My Skull
      G
Its Hard To Bwagl
      C          E
Nowdle Souz With These Marbles In My Mouth
E        G     C      E
Don't Know Don't Know Don't Know Don't Know X2
E       A   G   C     E
Well We Don't Sound Like Madonna
    A      C    E
Here We Are Now Where Nirvana
  A     G     C     E
Sing Distinctly We Dompt Wanna
  G    C      E
Bye Are Album Where Nirvana
G      C     E
A Garage Band From Seattle
A       G     C     E
Well It Sure Beats Raising Cattle Yeah
 
Moo
 
Moo
 
A            G
And I Forget The Next Verse
     C        E
Oh Well I Guess It Pays To Rehearse
A     G          C               E
The Sheet Music So Hard To Find Oh Well Whatever Never Mind
A    G        C          E
Don't Know Don't Know Don't Know Don't Know X2
A        G        C    E
Well I'm Yellin And Where Playin
A           G     C     E
But I Don't Know What I'm Sayin
A   G     C      E
What's The Message I'm Conveying
A       G           C      E
Can You Tell Me What I'm Sayin'
A        G         C   E
So I Know What I'm Screamin'
A      G        C    E
Didn't Think So Well See Yeah
A     G        C    E
Sayonara Sayonarax5
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Living With A Hernia

Living With A Hernia Guitar Chords & Lyrics
[Intro]
C#5
C#9   C#9   C#9   C#9
                  Help me out! Dig!
C#9   C#9   C#9   C#9
 
[Verse 1]
C#9
All I do is grunt and groan, hurts me to walk anywhere.
        C#9
Went to see my physician, Dr. Jones. He took my trousers off, told me to cough.
       F#7
Doctor says there ain't nothin' to discuss.
   F#7                      G#7
He tells me any day I might have to wear a truss.
 
[Chorus]
E                     F# C#9
Living with a hernia,    all the time, such aggravation.
E                     F# C#9
Living with a hernia,    gonna be my ruination.
E                     B A7                        C#5
Living with a hernia,   got to have an operation.
 
[Interlude]
        C#9   C#9   C#9   C#9
Feel so old!
 
[Verse 2]
C#9
Too much bad pain, good god, drives me insane.
C#9
Can't run, barely crawl, got a bulge in my intestinal wall.
C#9
Walk real funny, bless my soul, can't play tennis and it's hard to bowl.
          F#7
You can't even do the splits now... Say it! Better call it quits now,
        F#7                      G#7
Now I'm sick of all this dancin'     anyhow!
 
[Chorus]
E                     F# C#9
Living with a hernia,    hurts me bad in a tender location.
E                     F# C#9
Living with a hernia, had enough humiliation.
E                     B A7                        C#5
Living with a hernia,   got to have an operation.
 
[Bridge]
C#5
I live with a hernia, can't get up, can't bend over.
    C#5
Now I live with a hernia. Wait a minute...
A#5
    You may not be familiar with the common types of hernias that you could get.
F#7
So just settle down, let me clue you in:
        G#
There's incomplete (incomplete), epigastric (epigastric),
G#
Bladder (bladder), strangulated (strangulated),
G#
Lumbar hernia (lumbar hernia), Richter's hernia (Richter's hernia),
  G#
Obstructed (obstructed), Inguinal and Direct
 
[Chorus]
E6                    F#                   C#9
Living with a hernia, rupture! I said it's causin' me such irritation.
E                     F#    C#9
Living with a hernia, woah! Have to have my medication.
E                     F#
Living with a hernia.
N.C.
I feel bad!
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White And Nerdy

White And Nerdy Guitar Chords & Lyrics
Capo: 4th fret

Em
They see me mowin'
Bm
My front lawn
C
I know they're all thinking
       Am
I'm so White N' nerdy
Am
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Am
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Am
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy
Am
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!
 
Em
I wanna roll with-
Bm
The gangsters
C
But so far they all think
        Am
I'm too white n' nerdy
Am
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Am
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Am
I'm just too white n' nerdy
Am
Really, really white n' nerdy
 
Rap part play backround music-Em Bm C Am (strum Em,Bm,and C two times and Am five times)
 
First in my class here at M.I.T.
Got skills, I'm a Champion of DND
MC Escher that's my favorite MC
Keep your 40
I'll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin to the contrary
You'll find they're quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Steven Hawkings in my library
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
I got people begging for my top 8 spaces
Yo I know Pi to a thousand places
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I'm a whiz at minesweeper I can play for days
Once you see my sweet moves you're gonna stay amazed,
my fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze
There's no killer app I haven't run
At Pascal, well, I'm number 1
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain't got a gat but I gotta soldering gun
Happy days is my favourite theme song
I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I'm fluent in Java Script as well as Klingon
Here's the part I sing on
 
Em                   Bm
They see me roll on, my Segway!
C
I know in my heart they think I'm
Am
white n' nerdy!
Am
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Am
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Am
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy
Am
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy
 
Em
I'd like to roll with-
Bm
The gangsters
C
Although it's apparent I'm too
Am
White n' nerdy
Am
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Am
I'm just too white n' nerdy
Am
How'd I get so white n' nerdy?
 
Rap part (Play backround music)
I've been browsing, inspectin'
X-men comics you know I collect 'em
The pens in my pocket
I must protect 'em
my ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shopping online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL
I got a business doing websites
When my friends need some code who do they call?
I do HTML for them all
Even made a homepage for my dog!
Yo! Got myself a fanny pack
they were having a sale down at the GAP
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
POP POP! Hope no one sees me gettin' freaky!
 
Em                             Bm
I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour creme
C                                   Am
I was in AV club and Glee club and even the chess team!
Em               Bm
Only question I ever thought was hard
C                      Am
Was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?
Em            Bm
I spend every weekend
 
at the renaissance fair
C                   Am
I got my name on my under wear!
 
Em
They see me strollin'
Bm
They laughin'
C
And rollin' their eyes 'cause
       Am
I'm so white n' nerdy
Am
Just because I'm white n' nerdy
Am
Just because I'm white n' nerdy
Am
All because I'm white n' nerdy
Am
Holy cow I'm white n' nerdy
 
Em
I wanna bowl with-
Bm
the gangsters
C
but oh well it's obvious I'm
Am
white n' nerdy
Am
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Am
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Am
I'm just too white n' nerdy
Am
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!
 
Funny song...
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Everything You Know Is Wrong

Everything You Know Is Wrong Guitar Chords & Lyrics
Intro:  D  C  G   A    A7 A7
 
D                    G       A      D                      G     A        Bm
I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane with a rabid wolverine in my underwear
     E               A                                      G                                 D
when suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes
D                 G     A               D                   G      A
I guessed "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie? is it Bob or Joe or Walter?
         Bm                      E
Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"
           A                                        A7                         Bm
I probably would have kept on guessing but about that time we crashed into the truck
                  E7                    A                   D           Em            G
And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer
    A             A7
who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me
 
 
Chorus 1:
 
D     G        A         D                           G         A        Bm
Everything you know is wrong! Black is white, up is down and short is long
          E                         A            A7
And everything you thought was just so important doesn't matter
D     G        A         D                     C#        F#m  Bm
Everything you know is wrong! Just forget the words and sing along
                 E                G           A       F    G
All you need to understand is, everything you know is wrong
 
 
Verse 2:
 
D                    G       A        D                      G           A                Bm
I was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams when I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension
     E            A                         G                                 D
and soon I was abducted by some aliens from space who kinda looked like Jamie Farr
D                   G     A                 D                       G             A
They sucked out my internal organs and they took some polaroids and said I was a darn good sport
Bm                 E                           A                               A7                           Bm
As a way of saying thank you they offered to transport me back to any point in history that I would care to go
                  E7                    A                        D            Em      G
And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night so I could pay my phone bill on time
                       A                                   A7
Just then the floating disembodied head of Colonel Sanders started yelling
 
 
Chorus 2:
 
D     G        A         D                           G         A        Bm
Everything you know is wrong! Black is white, up is down and short is long
          E                         A            A7
And everything you thought was just so important doesn't matter
D     G        A         D                     C#        F#m  Bm
Everything you know is wrong! Just forget the words and sing along
                 E                G           A       D
All you need to understand is, everything you know is wrong
 
 
[Instrumental Interlude]
 
Accordion Solo:
G    E    F#    G     A
 
Saxophone Solo:
Cm   F   G   Am  Bb   Am   Bb   G   C
 
Guitar Solo:
Dm  Eb  F  F#  Am  Bb  G  C   A7 A7 (two strums)
 
 
Verse 3:
 
D                    G            A     D                G     A      Bm
I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin when I got a nasty papercut
             E                 A                     G      D
And well, to make a long story short it got infected and I died
   D                             G     A      D                     G             A
So now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter by the pearly gates and it's obvious he doesn't like the 
Bm           E                    A                     A7                Bm
Nehru jacket that I'm wearing, he tells me that they've got a dress code, well
                       E7           A                        D         Em              G
He lets me into heaven anyway but I get the room next to the noisy ice machine for all eternity
    A            A7
And every day he runs by screaming
 
 
Chorus 3:
 
 
D     G        A         D                           G         A        Bm
Everything you know is wrong! Black is white, up is down and short is long, and 
                      E                             A                     A7
Everything ya used to think was so important doesnt really matter anymore because the simple fact remains that
D     G        A         D                     C#        F#m  Bm
Everything you know is wrong! Just forget the words and sing along
                 E             G              A        Bm             C#m   G              A       D
All you need to understand is, everything you know is wroooooooooooooooong, everything you know is wrong!  
 
 
(end)
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Saga Begins

Saga Begins Guitar Chords & Lyrics
[Verse 1]
   G     D   Em        Am          C          Em                  D         G D
A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far away, Naboo was under an attack. And I thought
       Em                 Am            C          Em             C             D     Em
me and Qui-Gon Jin, could talk the Federation into maybe cutting them a little slack. But
                  Am               Em                         Am                C  G
their response it didn't thrill us, they locked the doors and tried to kill us. We escaped
     Am            C                   D        G        D    Em                 Am7
from that gas, and met Jar Jar and Boss Nass, we took a Bongo from the scene and we went
             D                 G        D     Em        C                D7
to Theed to see the Queen, we all wound up on Tatooine, that's where, we found.. This
 G        C      G
Boy'
 
[Chorus]
   G   C             G     D          G              C              G            D
Oh my, my this here Anakin guy, maybe Vader Someday later now he's just a small fry.
    G       C                G        D            Em                  A7    Em
He left his home kissed his mommy goodbye singing soon I'm gonna be a Jedi'. Soon
                D7
I'm gonna be a Jedi'
 
[Verse 2]
 G                   Am                 C         Am              Em
Did you know this Junkyard slave isn't even old enough to shave, but he can use the
 D                      G       D          Em                             Am7      C
force they say' ahh do you see him hitting on the queen though he's just nine and she's
                     Em             A        D             Em              D
fourteen, yeah he's probably gonna marry her someday. Well I know he built C-3PO and
      Em                 D               C        G         A7         C
I've heard how fast his Pod can go, and we were broke it's true, so we made a wager or
D7               G    D        Em                 Am                   C            G
two Ooo he was a prepubescent flying ace and the minute Jabba started off that race I
     D         Em                   C       D7       G C G                  D7
knew who would win first place, oh yes, it was, our boy,       we started singing'..
 
[Chorus]
   G   C             G     D          G              C              G            D
Oh my, my this here Anakin guy, maybe Vader Someday later now he's just a small fry.
    G       C                G        D            Em                  A7    Em
He left his home kissed his mommy goodbye singing soon I'm gonna be a Jedi'. Soon
                D7
I'm gonna be a Jedi'
 
[Verse 3]
        G             Am            C              Am                 Em
Now we finally got to Coruscant the Jedi Council we knew would want to see how good
    D                    G         D           Em                  Am7               C
the boy could be, so we took him there and we told a tale how his midichlorians were off
                 Em         A7           D                Em           D
the scale and he might fulfil that Prophesy, well the council was impressed of course,
      Em               D                   C     G          A7        C            D7
could he bring balance too the force, they interviewed the kid, oh training they forbid,
         G     D       Em                  Am                C                 G       D
because Yoda sensed in him much fear, and Qui-Gon said now listen here, just stick it in
       Em            C          D7         G     C    G
your pointy ear, I still will teach, this boy.
 
[Chorus]
   G   C             G     D          G              C              G            D
Oh my, my this here Anakin guy, maybe Vader Someday later now he's just a small fry.
    G       C                G        D            Em                  A7    Em
He left his home kissed his mommy goodbye singing soon I'm gonna be a Jedi. Soon
                D7
I'm gonna be a Jedi
 
[Verse 4]
G            D        Em              Am            C            Em
We caught a ride back to Naboo, cause Queen Amidala wanted to, I frankly would have
 D             G        D            Em                 Am           D                 Em
liked to stay, we all fought in that epic war, and it wasn't long at all before little hot shot
          C                   D Em                    Am          Em
flew his plane and saved the day, and in the end some Gungans died, some ships blew
              Am             C      G          Am           C                   D
up and some pilots fried, a lot of folks were croakin', the battle droids were broken, and
    G    D  Em              C                      D7                    G         D
the Jedi I admire most, met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast, well I'm still here
    Em                C           D7         G   C   G
and he's a ghost, I guess, I'll train, this boy.
 
[Chorus]
   G   C             G     D          G              C              G            D
Oh my, my this here Anakin guy, maybe Vader Someday later now he's just a small fry.
    G       C                G        D            Em                  A7    Em
He left his home kissed his mommy goodbye singing soon I'm gonna be a Jedi. Soon
                D7
I'm gonna be a Jedi
 
   G   C             G     D          G              C              G            D
Oh my, my this here Anakin guy, maybe Vader Someday later now he's just a small fry.
    G       C                G        D            C              D    G- C- G
He left his home kissed his mommy goodbye singing soon I'm gonna be a Jedi.
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Word Crimes

Word Crimes Guitar Chords & Lyrics
[Intro]
C E7 Am Fadd9
 
Everybody shut up! (woo!)
 
Everyone listen up!
          C
Hey, hey, hey
          E7
Hey, hey, hey
          Am   Fadd9
Hey, hey, hey
 
 
[Verse 1]
C
If you can't write
E7
In the proper way
Am
If you don't know
Fadd9
How to conjugate
C
Maybe you flunked that class
E7
And maybe now you find
Am                    Fadd9
That people mock you online
 
(Everybody wise up!)
 
 
[Pre-Chorus 1]
C
Okay, now here's the deal
E7
I'll try to educate ya
Am
Gonna familiarize
Fadd9
You with the nomenclature
C
You'll learn the definitions
E7
Of nouns and prepositions
Am
Literacy's your mission
Fadd9
And that's why I think it's a
 
 
[Chorus]
C
Good time
E7
To learn some grammar
Am
Now, did I stammer
Fadd9
Work on that grammar
           C
You should know when
E7
It's "less" or it's "fewer"
Am
Like people who were
Fadd9
Never raised in a sewer
 
             C
I hate these word crimes
E7
Like "I could care less" (Hey, Hey, Hey!)
Am
That means you DO care
Fadd9
At least a little
           C
Don't be a moron
Am
You'd better slow down
E7
And use the right pronoun
Fadd9
Show the world you're no clown
 
 
[Verse 2]
C
Say you've got an "it"
E7
Followed by apostrophe "s"
Am
Now, what does that mean?
Fadd9
You would not use "it’s" in this case
C
As a possessive (no, no, no!)
E7
It's a contraction (yeah, yeah, yeah!)
Am
What's a contraction?
Fadd9
Well, it's the shortening of a word or a group of words
 
By omission of a sound or letter
 
 
[Pre-Chorus 2]
C
Okay, now here are some notes
E7
Syntax you’re always mangling
Am
No X in "espresso"
Fadd9
Your participle's danglin'
C
But I don't want your drama
E7
If you really wanna
Am                     Fadd9
Leave out that Oxford comma
 
 
[Chorus]
                       C
Just keep in mind that "be", "see", "are", "you"
E7
Are words, not letters
Am
Get it together
Fadd9
Use your spell checker
           C
You should never
E7
Write words using numbers
Am
Unless you're seven
Fadd9
Or your name is Prince
 
             C
I hate these word crimes (I hate them crimes)
E7
You really need a (I hate them crimes)
Am
Full-time proofreader (I mean those crimes)
Fadd9
You dumb mouth breather
                 C
Well, you should hire
E7
Some cunning linguist
Am
To help you distinguish
Fadd9
What is proper English
 
 
[Bridge]
C
One thing I ask of you
E7
Time to learn your homophones is past due
Am
Learn to diagram a sentence, too
Fadd9
Always say "to whom", don't ever say "to who"
C
And listen up when I tell you this
E7
I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis
Am
You finished second grade, I hope you can tell
Fadd9
If you're doing good or doing well
C
You'd better figure out the difference
E7
Irony is not coincidence
Am
And I thought that you'd gotten it through your skull
Fadd9
About what's figurative and what's literal
C
Oh, but just now, you said
E7
You "literally couldn't get out of bed"
Am
That really makes me want to literally
Fadd9
Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head
 
 
[Chorus]
           C
I read your e-mail
E7
It's quite apparent
Am
Your grammar's errant
Fadd9
You're incoherent
        C
Saw your blog post
E7
It's really fantastic
Am
That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!)
Fadd9
’Cause you write like a spastic
 
             C
I hate these word crimes
E7
Your prose is dopey
Am
Think you should only
Fadd9
Write in emoji
             C
Oh, you're a lost cause
E7
Go back to pre-school
Am
Get out of the gene pool
Fadd9
Try your best to not drool
 
 
[Outro]
C           E7
 Never mind, I give up
Am           Fadd9
  Really now, I give up
          C
Hey, hey, hey
          Am
Hey, hey, hey
        E7
Go away!
Fadd9
Show more

Trapped At The Drive Through

Trapped At The Drive Through Guitar Chords & Lyrics
[Intro]
Am6/C  E
 
[Ballad]
 
Am6/C
Seven O'Clock in the evening
Watchin' somethin' stupid on TV
E
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me
 
Am6/C
And she says "is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynard Skynard?"
E
And I say I don't know
Say, it's gettin' late, watcha wanna do for dinner?
 
Am6/C
She says "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
E
I said, well you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either
But I could eat"
 
Am6/C
She said "So whadya have in mind?"
I said I don't know what about you?
E
She said "I don't care, if you're hungry, let's eat"
I said that's what we're gonna do!
 
Am6/C
But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!
E
And she says "let me think,
What's left in our refrigerator?"
 
Am6/C
I said well, there's tuna, I know
She said "That went bad a week ago!"
E
I said is the chili okay?
She said "you finished that yesterday!"
 
Am6/C
I hopped up and I said
I don't know, do you want to get something delivered?
E
She's like "why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"
 
Am6/C
I'm like no, I said 'delivered'
She's like "I heard you say liver!"
E
I'm like I should know what I said
She's like "whatever, I just don't want any liver!"
 
Am6/C
Well I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
E
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID
 
Am6/C
It was just cousin Larry
Callin' for the third time today
E
My wife said "Let it go to voicemail"
I said okay
 
Am6/C
Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right
So what d'ya want to do?
E
She said "why don't you whip up somethin in the kitchen?"
Yeah, I said why don't you?
 
Am6/C
And then she said "baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
E
I says no
She says "yes"
I says no
She says "yes"
I says no
She says "yes
Oh, here's your keys"
 
Am6/C
I step a little bit closer
Say okay, where ya want to go?
E
She says "how about The Ivy?"
I said yeah, well I don't know
 
Am6/C
I don't feel like gettin all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food
E
She's says "Olive Garden?"
I say nah, I'm not in the mood
 
Am6/C
And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt
E
She says "Just forget about it"
I said no, I swear I'm gonna take you out!
 
Am6/C
Then I get an idea
I says I know what we'll do!
E
She says "What?"
I say, guess?
She says "What?"
I say we're goin' to the drive-thru!
 
Am6/C
So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
E
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors
 
Am6/C
Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
E
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway
 
Am6/C
Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
E
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru!
 
Am6/C
Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
E
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?
 
Am6/C
Well here we are
In the drive-thru line, me and her
E
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order
 
Am6/C
There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
E
I lean out the window and scream
Hey, Whatcha tryin to do, blind me?
 
Am6/C
My wife says "maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
E
I said I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride
 
Am6/C
Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin' "Can I take your order, please?"
E
I said yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese
 
Am6/C
Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
E
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead, this time"
 
Am6/C
I said you always get a cheeseburger!
She says "That's not what I'm hungry for"
E
I put my head in my hands and screamed,
I don't know who you are anymore!
 
Am6/C
The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
E
I said, then, take our order,
And we'll be on our way!
 
Am6/C
I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger, too
E
She's like "you want onions on that?"
I'm like, yeah, I already said that I do
 
Am6/C
Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it!
E
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it"
 
Am6/C
Then I said I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright
E
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right
 
Am6/C
She says "one, you want a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a cheeseburger
E
Three, curly fries, and a large root beer"
Stop, don't go no further!
 
Am6/C
I never ordered a large rootbeer
I said medium, not large!
E
Then she says "we're havin' a special,
I supersized you at no charge"
 
Am6/C
"Oh" and that's all
I could say, was "Oh"
E
And she says "now there is somethin' else
That I really think you should know
 
Am6/C
You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"
E
I say, great, except we're in the drive thru
So what would I want that for?
 
Am6/C
Then she says "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar hey, is this Paul?
E
And my wife is all like "no, that ain't Paul,
Now tell me, who's this Paul?
 
Am6/C
She says "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me
E
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off him in Geometry
 
Am6/C
I said I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
E
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer
 
Am6/C
He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe
E
And she said "Mister, please, you can stop right there,
That's way more than I needed to know!"
 
Am6/C
And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
E
Then she says "next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"
 
Am6/C
So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
E
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio
 
[Interlude]
E  C  Am
E  E  E
E  C  Am
 
E
Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
 
Am6/C
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake
E
Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said umm,
I think you have somethin' in your teeth
 
Am6/C
She turned away from me
And then turned back and said "did I get it?"
I said yeah well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it
E
Then she said "how about now?"
I said yeah, almost
There's still a little bit there
But don't worry, it's probably just a piece of toast"
 
Am6/C
Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
E
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!
 
N.C.
 
Am6/C
And the lady at the window's like,
"Well, well, well, that'll be five eighty two"
E
I turn around to my wife, and say
How much have you got on you?
 
Am6/C
She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this, I guess"
E
So she reaches into her purse
And pulls out the American Express
 
Am6/C
I hand it to the lady
And she says "oh, dear
E
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here"
 
Am6/C
I took back the card and said
Gee, really? Well that sucks
E
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks
 
Am6/C
I said I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today
E
She says "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway?
 
Am6/C
And I said never mind,
Just help me to find some change
E
Now the lady at the window
Is lookin' at me kinda strange
 
Am6/C
And she says "Mister, please,
We gotta move this line along"
E
I said now hold your stinkin' horses lady,
We won't be long
 
Am6/C
So, we looked around inside the glove-box
And check the mat beneath my feet
E
I found a nickel in the ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between he seats
 
Am6/C
Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
E
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"
 
Am6/C
And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
E
She screams, "you know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"
 
Am6/C
And so I turned around
To the cashier again
E
I shrugged and said okay
Forget the chicken sandwich then
 
Am6/C
So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
E
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat
 
Am6/C
And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
E
Wearin' a dorky name tag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene"
 
Am6/C
And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
E
And I say to him, hey, Eugene,
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?
 
Am6/C
Well he looks at me
E
And I look at him
Am6/C
And he looks at me
E
And I look at him
Am6/C
And he looks at me
E
And I look at him
 
Am6/C
And he says "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"
E
I say ketchup!
And he says "oh yeah, that's right
 
Am6/C
I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight"
E
And then he hands me the ketchup
And now we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet
 
Am6/C
I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
E
I say, baby, gimme that burger,
I just gotta have a bite!
 
Am6/C
So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
E
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger
 
Am6/C
And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
E
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!
Show more

I Lost On Jeopardy

I Lost On Jeopardy Guitar Chords & Lyrics
Tip: in the verse when going from Gm to Fm add in the F#m as a grace note
 
 
Intro: Cm
 
 
Verse 1:
 
      Cm                         Gm           Fm
I was there to match my intellect on national TV
          Cm                           Gm             Fm
Against a plumber, oh and an architect, both with a PhD
      Eb                              Gm
I was tense, I was nervous, I guess it just wasn't my night
    Fm                                 Eb
Art Fleming gave the answers, oh but I couldn't get the questions right-ight-ight
 
 
Chorus 1:
          Cm              Gm  Fm
I lost on Jeopardy, baby, oooooh
          Cm              Gm  Fm
I lost on Jeopardy, baby, oooooh
 
 
Verse 2:
 
        Cm                        Gm                  Fm
Well, I knew I was in trouble now, my hope of winning sank
           Cm                      Gm                      Fm
Oh cause I got the Daily Double now and then my mind went blank
       Eb                                    Gm
I took Potpourri for one hundred and then my head started to spin
         Fm                         Eb
Well I'm givin' up, Don Pardo, just tell me now what I didn't win, yeah, yeah
 
 
Chorus 2:
          Cm              Gm  Fm
I lost on Jeopardy, baby, oooooh
          Cm              Gm  Fm
I lost on Jeopardy, baby, oooooh
 
 
 
Break: over Cm
 
A|-----------6------|
E|-8-8-8p6h8----8p6-|
 
That's right Al you lost, And let me tell you what you didn't win:
A twenty set volume of the Encyclopedia International, a case of Turtle Wax,
And a years supply of Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco Treat
But that's not all, you also made yourself look like a jerk in front of millions of people
And you brought shame and disgrace to your family name for generations to come
You don't get to come back tomorrow, You don't even get a lousy copy of our home game, You're a complete loser
 
 
Verse 3:
 
           Eb                              Gm
Don't know what I was thinkin' of, I guess I just wasn't to bright
        Fm                        Eb
Well I sure hope I do better next weekend on the Price Is Right-ight-ight
 
 
Chorus 3:
          Cm              Gm  Fm
I lost on Jeopardy, baby, oooooh
          Cm              Gm  Fm
I lost on Jeopardy, baby, oooooh
          Cm
I lost on Jeopardy! baby!
 
 
 
(end)
Show more

Amish Paradise

Amish Paradise Guitar Chords & Lyrics
Intro: Ab Fm G Cm
 
 
Verse 1:
 
     Ab                              Fm
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain 
         G                       Cm
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain 
     Ab                        Fm
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me 
           G                       Cm
You know I shun fancy things like electricity 
   Ab                       Fm
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows 
G                               Cm
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows fool 
    Ab                    Fm
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that 
G                           Cm
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone 
     Ab                    Fm
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline 
      G                      Cm
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin 
         Ab                          Fm
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine 
     G                                    Cm
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699 
 
 
Chorus 1:
 
Ab                 Fm                     G           Cm
  We been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise 
Ab                    Fm                   G           Cm
  I've churned butter once or twice living in an Amish paradise 
Ab                  Fm                G           Cm
  It's hard work and sacrifice living in an Amish paradise 
Ab                  Fm                   G             Cm
  We sell quilts at discount price living in an Amish paradise 
 
 
Verse 2:
 
   Ab                        Fm
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week 
        G                   Cm
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek 
   Ab                          Fm
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well 
                G                              Cm
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell 
      Ab                                 Fm
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it 
    G                      Cm
An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of 
   Ab                       Fm
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat 
       G                      Cm
And my homies agree I really look good in black fool 
Ab                              Fm
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears 
           G                           Cm
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years 
       Ab                      Fm
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare 
      G                    Cm
We're just technologically impaired 
 
 
Bridge:
 
          Ab                    Fm             G         Cm
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar not a single luxury 
     Ab        Fm             G               Cm
Like Robinson Caruso it's as primitive as can be 
 
 
Chorus 2:
 
Ab                 Fm                    G           Cm
  We been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise 
Ab                    Fm                  G           Cm
  We're just plain and simple guys living in an Amish Paradise 
Ab                    Fm                  G           Cm
  There's no time for sin and vice living in an Amish Paradise 
Ab                            Fm          G           Cm
  We don't fight, we all play nice living in an Amish Paradise 
 
 
Verse 3:
 
Ab                     Fm
Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter 
G                         Cm
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise an 'utter 
Ab                             Fm
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? 
        G                          Cm
Well, I know I'm a million time as humble as thou art 
Ab                           Fm
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes want to be like 
       G                           Cm
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife 
Ab                     Fm
So don't be vain and don't be whiny 
         G                                Cm
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie 
 
 
Chorus 3:
 
Ab                 Fm                    G           Cm
  We been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise 
Ab                     Fm           G           Cm
  We're all crazy Mennonites living in an Amish Paradise 
Ab                   Fm                    G           Cm
  There's no cops or traffic lights living in an Amish Paradise 
Ab                    Fm                   G           Cm
  But you'd probably think it bites living in an Amish Paradise 
 
 
Outro:
 
Ab      Fm      G   Cm
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
Ab       Fm      G       Cm
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!
Show more

My Bologna

My Bologna Guitar Chords & Lyrics
[Intro]
G
 
[Verse 1]
G                                                         C  C C  Bb
Oh my little hungry one, hungry one, open up a package of my bologna
G                                                                        C  C C Bb
Oh I think the toast is done, the toast is done, top it with a little of my bologna
 
[Chorus 1]
G                                                  Bb
Never gonna stop, eat it up, such a tasty snack, I always eat too much and throw up
                          C   C   Eb  Eb  Eb  F   G                F   G   C C C Bb
But I'll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo, m-m-m-my bologna
 
[Verse 2]
G                                                                     C  C C Bb
Spreadin' on the mustard now, show me how, spread it on a little of this bologna
G                                                                          C  C C Bb
Hopin' that we don't run out, don't run out, if we do I'm sure that I'll miss bologna
 
[Chorus 2]
G                                                  Bb
Never gonna stop, eat it up, such a tasty snack, I always eat too much and throw up
                          C   C   Eb  Eb  Eb  F   G                F   G  C  C C Bb
But I'll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo, m-m-m-my bologna.......my bologna
 
[Verse 3]
G                                                                   C C  C Bb
Goin' through the market now, market now, I'm the city's biggest bologna buyer
G                                                                            C C   C Bb
Walkin' down the shopping aisles, shopping aisles, filling up my basket with Oscar Mayer
 
[Chorus 3]
G                                                  Bb
Never gonna stop, eat it up, such a tasty snack, I always eat too much and throw up
                          C   C   Eb  Eb  Eb  F   G                F   G  C  C C Bb
But I'll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo, m-m-m-my bologna.......my bologna
          C   C   Eb  Eb  Eb  F   G                F   G  C  C C Bb
m-m-m-m-m my, my, my, yi, yi, woo, m-m-m-my bologna.......my bologna
Show more

Ricky

Ricky Guitar Chords & Lyrics
[Intro]
     N.C.
[R:] Hey Lucy, I'm home!
[L:] Oh Ricky, you're so fine,
     You're so fine you blow my mind,
     Hey Ricky, hey Ricky!
[R:] Oh Lucy, you're so fine,
     You're so fine you blow my mind,
     Hey Lucy, hey Lucy!
 
     B
[L:] Oh Ricky, you're so fine,
         A
     You play your bongos all the time,
         B
     Hey Ricky, hey Ricky!
     B
[R:] Oh Lucy, you're so fine,
     A                       B      B/D#     B/F#  B
     How I love tyo hear you whine!      Hey Lucy!
 
[Interlude 1]
E    A    E    B
A    A    B    B
E    A    E    B
A    A/C# A/E  A
B    B/D# B/F# B
 
[Verse 1]
     B          A
[L:] Hey Ricky,
                B                          A
     You always play your conga drums, you think you got the right.
         B                           A
     You wake up little Ricky in the middle of the night.
          B                             A                              B B/D# B/F# B
     Stop shakin' your maraccas now and just turn out the light Ricky!
 
         B                             A
[R:] I'm sick of Fred and Ethel always comin' over here,
            B                                    A
     'Cause Fred eats all our pretzel sticks and then he spills his beer.
         B                                  A                         B B/D# B/F# B
     Why don't you serve your cassarole and make them disappear Lucy?
 
[Chorus 1]
     E         A                  E              B
[L:] Oh Ricky, what's a girl like me supposed to do?
         A                             B
     You really drive me wild when you sing your babaloo.
     E        A                E                B
[R:] Oh Lucy, you're so dizzy, don't you have a clue?
           A
     Well, here's to you Lucy,
                B
     I love you too Lucy, too Lucy, let's babaloo Lucy!
 
[Verse 2]
     B          A
[L:] Hey Ricky,
                   B                        A
     You're always playin' at the club, you never let me go.
         B                                A
     I'm beggin' and I'm pleadin' but you always tell me no.
         B                        A                         B B/D# B/F# B
     Oh, please honey please, let me be in your show Ricky! Waaahh...
 
         B                             A
[R:] You always burn the roast and you drop the dishes too.
         B                         A
     You iron my new shirt and you burn a hole right through.
            B                           A                           B B/D# B/F# B
     You're such a crazy redhead I just don't know what to do Lucy!
 
[Chorus 2]
     E         A            E              B
[L:] Oh Ricky, what a pity, don't you understand,
          A                           B
     That every day's a rerun and the laughter's always canned?
     E        A             E             B
[R:] Oh Lucy, I'm the latin leader of the band.
        A
     So here's to you Lucy,
               B
     Let's babaloo Lucy, too Lucy, everybody rumba!
 
[Interlude 2]
E       Emaj7    E       C#   F#
E       F#       F#m     F#mmaj7
E       E/F      E       E/G#
                              Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...
Show more

I Love Rocky Road

I Love Rocky Road Guitar Chords & Lyrics
[Intro]
 
D   D   D   D   F
G   G   A   A   F
D   D   D   D   F
G   G   A   F
D   D   D   D
D C A G F
 
[Verse 1]
 
  D                                         D      D C A G F
I hear those ice cream bells and I start to drool.
D                                    A       D C A G F
Keep a couple quarts in my locker at school.
          G                   A
Yeah, but chocolate's gettin' old,
  D                    G
Vanilla just leaves me cold.
N.C.
There's just one flavor good enough for me, yeah me.
N.C.
Don't gimme no crummy taste spoon,
       A
I know what I need.
 
[Chorus]
 
      D
Baby, I love rocky road,
F  G                           A
So won't you go and buy half a gallon, baby!
D
I love rocky road,
F  G                   A     F    D       D D C A G F
So have another triple scoop with me, ow!
 
[Verse 2]
 
     D                                     D     D C A G F
They tell me ice cream junkies are all the same.
D                            A     D C A G F
All the soda jerkers know my name.
     G               A
When their supply is gone,
     D              G
Then I'll be movin' on.
N.C.
But I'll be back on Monday afternoon, you'll see.
N.C.                               A
Another truck load's comin' in for me, all for me.
 
[Chorus]
 
             D
I'm singin', I love rocky road,
F  G                           A
So won't you go and buy half a gallon, baby!
D
I love rocky road,
F  G                   A     F    D       D D C A G F
So have another triple scoop with me, ow!
 
[Accordeon Solo]
 
D   D   D   D   D C A G F
D   D   A   A   D C A G F
 
[Verse 3]
 
G            A
When I'm all alone,
       D             G
I just grab myself a cone.
N.C.
And if I get fat and loose my teeth that's fine with me.
N.C.
Just lock me in the freezer and throw away the key.
 
[Chorus]
 
N.C.
Singing, I love rocky road
N.C.
So won't you go and buy half a gallon, baby
N.C.
I love rocky road
N.C.
So have another triple scoop with me
 
D
I love rocky road,
F  G                            A
So won't you go and buy half a gallon, baby!
D
I love rocky road,
F  G                   A     F
So have another triple scoop with...
 
D
I love rocky road,
F  G                            A
So won't you go and buy half a gallon, baby!
D
I love rocky road,
F  G                   A     F
So have another triple scoop with...
 
D
I love rocky road,
F  G                            A
So won't you go and buy half a gallon, baby!
D
I love rocky road,
F  G                   A     F    D
So have another triple scoop with me!
Show more

I Want A New Duck

I Want A New Duck Guitar Chords & Lyrics
[Intro]
A   G D A   G D
A   G D A   G D
A   G D A   G D
A   G D A   G D
 
[Verse 1]
             A     G          D            A     G D
I want a new duck,   one that won't try to bite,
A                       G          D      A                G         D      A D D
  One that won't chew a hole in my socks,   one that won't quack all night.
             D     C          G          D     C G
I want a new duck,   one with big webbed feet,
D                       C       G   A                   G      D       A G D
  One that knows how to wash my car   and keep his room   real   neat.
E              E7       E6       E           E7      E6
One that won't raid the ice box, one that'll stay in shape,
C                F            C            D
One that's never gonna try to migrate or escape,
         N.C.
Or I'll tie him up with duck tape.
 
[Interlude]
A   G D A   G D
A   G D A   G D
 
[Verse 2]
             A     G   D         A        G D
I want a new duck,   a mallard I   think,
A                       G          D     A                        G        D       A D D
  One that won't make a mess of my house   or build a nest in the bathroom   sink.
             D     C          G              D     C G
I want a new duck,   one that won't steal my beer,
D                          C          G     A                    G          D       A G D
  One that won't stick his bill in my mail,   one that knows the duck stops   here.
E              E7       E6    E        E7  E6
One that won't drive me crazy waddling all around,
C                   F               C              D
One who'll teach me how to swim and help me not to drown,
    N.C.        A G D      A       G D            A       G D   A G D
And show me how     to get   down,     how to get   down, baby.     Get it?
 
[Chorus]
A               G             D        A G D
  Quack, quack, quack, quack,   quack,
A               G             D
  Quack, quack, quack, quack,   quack,
A                      G               D
  Quack, quack, quack,   quack, quack,   quack, quack,
A G D A G               D
          Quack, quack,   quack, quack,
A G D A                      G             D
        Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
 
[Verse 3]
             A     G       D         A      G D
I want a new duck,   not a swan or a goose,
A                    G          D     A                 G        D      A D D
  Just a drake I can dress real cute,   think I'm gonna name him Bruce.
             D     C       G           D    C G
I want a new duck,   not a quail or an owl,
D                C        G     A                G         D       A G D
  One that won't molt too much,   one that won't smell too   fowl.
E              E7      E6           E        E7        E6
One that won't beg for breadcrumbs, hangin' around all day,
     C               F               C              D
He'd better mind his manners, better do just what I say,
        N.C.     A G D      A   G D      A   G      D      A G D
Or he's gonna be     duck pâté,   duck pâté,   yah,   yah.
 
[Chorus]
A               G             D        A G D
  Quack, quack, quack, quack,   quack,
A               G             D
  Quack, quack, quack, quack,   quack,
A                      G               D
  Quack, quack, quack,   quack, quack,   quack, quack,
A G D A G               D
          Quack, quack,   quack, quack,
A G D A                      G             D
        Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
Show more

Yoda

Yoda Guitar Chords & Lyrics
[Intro]
C   C   C   D
E   E   E   E
 
[Verse 1]
  E
I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah,
         A                           D        Dsus2
Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated
E         Eadd9 A     Asus4 A
Soda, S-O-D-A   soda.
  E
I saw the little runt sitting there on a log,
  A                           D           Dsus2
I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said:
E             A     D             C     D
Yoda, Y-O-D-A Yoda,   Yo yo yo yo Yoda.
 
[Interlude]
E   E   E   E
 
[Verse 2]
     E
Well I've been around but I ain't never seen
          A                             D
A guy who looks like a Muppet, but he's wrinkled and green,
Dsus2 E                 A     Asus4 A
Oh my Yoda, yo yo yo yo Yoda.
     E
Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand,
           A                          D
How he can lift me in the air just by raising his hand,
Dsus2 E                 A     D             C     D
Oh my Yoda, yo yo yo yo Yoda,   yo yo yo yo Yoda.
 
[Interlude]
E   E   E   E
 
[Bridge 1]
     B7
Well I left home just a week before,
    F#7
And I never ever been a Jedi before.
    A
But Obi-wan, he set me straight of course,
   A                           A7
He said, "Go to Yoda and he'll show you the Force."
 
[Verse 3]
      E
Well, I'm not the kind that would argue with Ben,
      A                              D          Dsus2
So it looks like I'm gonna start all over again with my
E                 A     D             C     D
Yoda, yo yo yo yo Yoda,   yo yo yo yo Yoda.
E                 A     D             C     D  E
Yoda, yo yo yo yo Yoda,   yo yo yo yo Yoda.
 
[Interlude]
E   E   E   E
 
[Bridge 2]
   A      E   B
So I used the Force,
  A      E    B
I picked up a box,
  A      E       B
I lifted some rocks,
        E     G#7   C#m
While I stood on my head,
    B                        B6
But I won't forget what Yoda said:
 
[Verse 4]
          E
He said: "Luke, stay away from the darker side,
           A                           D
And if you start to go astray, let the Force be your guide."
Dsus2  E           Eadd9 A     Asus4 A Asus2 A
Oh, my Yoda, yo yo yo yo Yoda.
  E
I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed,
       A                                  D
But, remember, if you kill him then you'll be unemployed,
Dsus2  E           Eadd9 A
Oh, my Yoda, yo yo yo yo Yoda
 
[Bridge 3]
        B7
Well, I heard my friends really got in a mess,
   F#7
So I'm gonna have to leave Yoda, I guess.
      A
But I know that I'll be coming back some day,
A                                  A7
I'll be playing this part till I'm old and gray.
 
[Verse 5]
    E
The long-term contract I had to sign
             A                            D
Says I'll be making these movies till the end of time
Dsus2       E                 A     D             C     D
Oh, with my Yoda, yo yo yo yo Yoda,   yo yo yo yo Yoda.
 
[Outro]
E                 A     D             C     D
Yoda, yo yo yo yo Yoda,   yo yo yo yo Yoda.
E                 A     D             C     D
Yoda, yo yo yo yo Yoda,   yo yo yo yo Yoda.
E                 A     D             C     D
Yoda, yo yo yo yo Yoda,   yo yo yo yo Yoda.
E                 A     D             C     D
Yoda, yo yo yo yo Yoda,   yo yo yo yo Yoda.
E                 A     D             C     D
Yoda, yo yo yo yo Yoda,   yo yo yo yo Yoda.
E                 A     D             C     D
Yoda, yo yo yo yo Yoda,   yo yo yo yo Yoda.
Show more

Jurassic Park

Jurassic Park Guitar Chords & Lyrics
[Verse 1]
Dm                                    Dm/C                      Eb                          Gm  Bb/F  Eb/Bb
I recall the time they found those fossilized mosquitoes and before long, they were cloning DNA
Dm                             Dm/C                      Eb                                Gm  Bb/F  Eb/Bb Ab
Now I'm being chased by some irate velociraptors, well believe me, this has been one lousy day
 
[Chorus 1]
   C                                Cmaj7                         Gm7
Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark, all the dinosaurs are running wild
F                                 Fmaj7
Someone shut the fence off in the rain...
    C                               Dm
I admit it's kinda eerie but this proves my chaos theory
      C                               Fmaj7     Eb       Cm
And I don't think I'll be coming back again, oh nooooooooooo!
 
[Verse 2]
Dm                           Dm/C                        Eb                           Gm  Bb/F  Eb/Bb
I cannot approve of this attraction, cause getting disemboweled always makes me kinda mad
Dm                             Dm/C                      Eb                            Gm   Ab  Bb
A huge tyrannosaurus ate our lawyer, well I suppose that proves they're really not all bad
 
[Chorus 2]
   C                                Cmaj7                         Gm7
Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark, all the dinosaurs are running wild
F                             Fmaj7
Someone let T- Rex out of his pen...
       C                                        Dm
I'm afraid those things'll harm me, cause they sure don't act like Barney
          C                                      Fmaj7     Eb       Cm
And they think that I'm their dinner, not their friend, oh noooooooooooo!
 
[Break]
Gm    Gm7   Gm    Gm7
Dm    Dm7   Dm    Dm7
Eb Eb Eb Eb Bb Bb Bb Bb
Gm    Gm7   Bb    Bb7
C     F     F#    Bb
 
[Chorus 3]
   F                                Fmaj7                         Fm7
Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark, all the dinosaurs are running wild
Bb                             Bbmaj7
What a crummy weekend this has been...
Bb   C    Dm                                  F
Well this sure ain't no e-ticket, think I'll tell them where to stick it
           Bm                         Bbm      F          C         Ab      Fm    F#    Bb
Cause I'm never coming back this way again, oh nooooooooooooooo, oh noooooooooooooooooooo!  (RAAAAAWRRR)
Show more

Headline News

Headline News Guitar Chords & Lyrics
NO CAPO
 
 
Intro:
 
Gm  Dm  Gm  Dm  G#  A#  G#  A#
Gm  Dm  Gm  Dm  G#  A#  G#  A#
 
 
Verse 1:
 
Cm                  A#  D#  G#             D#             A#               D#
Once there was this kid who took a trip to Singapore and brought along his spray paint
    G#               A#  D#    A# D#    G#           D#          A#
And when he finally came back, he had cane marks all over his bottom
   B                  D#          B                 A#  G#
He said that it was from when the warden whacked it so hard
 
Chorus 1:
 
Gm        Dm         Gm        Dm        G#  A#   G#  A#
Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm, Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm
Gm        Dm         Gm        Dm        G#  A#   G#  A#
Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm, Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm
 
 
Verse 2:
 
Cm                  A#   D#  G#             D#                 A#               D#
Once there was this girl who swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion
    G#               A#   D#  A#   D#      G#                 D#      A#
And when she finally made it, she saw some other girl who was better
   B             D#          B               A#   G#
And so she hired some guy to club her in the kneecap
 
Chorus 2:
 
Gm        Dm         Gm        Dm        G#  A#   G#  A#
Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm, Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm
Gm        Dm         Gm        Dm        G#  A#   G#  A#
Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm, Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm
 
Bridge:
 
Fm                D#     A#
They got paid for their sound bites
Fm                D#       A#
And sold their TV movie rights
 
 
Verse 3:
 
    Cm                  A#  D#  G#              D#                  A#               D#
And then there was this guy who made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his weiner
    G#               A#  D#  A#  D#            G#            D#   A#
And when he finally came to, he found that Mr. Happy was missing
   B                  D#           B           A#    G#
He couldn't quite explain it, it'd always just been there
 
Chorus 3:
 
Gm        Dm         Gm        Dm        G#  A#   G#  A#
Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm, Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm
Gm        Dm         Gm        Dm        G#  A#   G#  A#
Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm, Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm
 
 
 
(fade out "aahh aah aaahh aahhh)
Show more

Gump

Gump Guitar Chords & Lyrics
[Verse 1]
 
A
Gump sat alone 
 
on a bench in the park
    G
"My name is Forrest," 
 
he'd casually remark
 A
Waitin' for the bus with his 
 
hands in his pockets
   G
He just kept sayin' life 
                 A
is like a box of chocolates
 
 
[Chorus]
 
He's Gump, He's Gump
              D
What's in his head?
     A
He's Gump, He's Gump, He's Gump
         D
Is he in-bred?
 
 
[Verse 2]
 
A
Gump was a big celebrity
G
He told JFK that 
 
he really had to pee
   A
He never feels too dumb because
   G
His mom always told him 
                    A
stupid is as stupid does
 
 
[Chorus]
 
He's Gump, He's Gump
           D
He's kinda square
     A
He's Gump, He's Gump, He's Gump
                 D
What's with that hair?
 
 
[Bridge]
 
A      G
Run... run... run, run, now Forrest
A      G
Run... run... run like the wind now
A      G
Run... run... run, run, now Forrest
A.     G
Run... stop!
 
 
[Verse 3]
 
A
His buddy Bubba was 
                G
a shrimp-lovin' man
 
His friend with no legs
                     A
he called Lieutenant Dan
 
His girlfriend Jenny
              G
was kind of a slut
 
He went to the White House,
               A
showed LBJ his butt
 
 
[Chorus]
 
He's Gump, He's Gump
             D
He's not too bright
A
He's Gump, He's Gump, He's Gump
           D
But he's alright
 
 
[Outro]
 
A
Is this Gump out of his head?
        D
I think so
A
Is this Gump really brain dead?
        D
I think so
A
Did this Gump make lots of bread?
        D
I think so
A
And that's all 
               D
I have to say about that
Show more

Canadian Idiot

Canadian Idiot Guitar Chords & Lyrics
INTRO:  A D G D A G (x4)
 
VERSE:
(no chords)
Don't want to be A Canadian idiot.    A D G D A G
 
(no chords)
Dont want to be some beer swillin' hockey nut.   A D G D A G
 
(no chords)
and do I look like some frost bitten hosehead ?    A D G D A G
 
(no chords)
I never learned my alphabet from "A" to "Zed".   A D G D A G
 
Chorus:
 
D
They all live on donuts and moose meat
 
A
and they leave the house without packin' heat
 
E                            A
never even bring their guns to the mall
 
D
and you know what else is too funny
 
A
their stupid monopoly money 
 
E
can't take 'em seriously at...
 
 
 
A D G D A G
 
A D G D A G
Verse 2:
 
(no chords)
Well maple syrup and snow's what they export   (A D G D A G)
 
(no chords)
they treat curling just like it's A real sport  (A D G D A G)
 
(no chords)
they think their silly accent is so cute     (A D G D A G)
 
(no chords)
can't understand A thing they're talking aboot   (A D G D A G)
 
Chorus:
 
D
sure they got their national health care 
 
A
cheaper meds low crime rates and clean air 
 
E                           A
then again well they got celine dion 
 
D
eat their weight in kraft macaroni 
 
A
and dream of driving a zamboni 
 
E
all over saskatchewan 
 
A D G D A G
A D G D A G
A D G D A G
 
 
 
BRIDGE:
D  A  E  A
D  A  E  A
(INTRO)
 
Verse: (Chords same as intro)
 
Don't want to be a Canadian idiot
 
Won't figure out the temperature in Celcius
 
Ab   C#   F#   C#  Ab   F#
see the map they're hovering right over us 
 
(no chords)
tell you the truth it makes me kinda nervous
 
 
Chorus:
 
D
always hear the same kind of story 
 
A
break their nose and they'll just say sorry 
 
E                           A
tell me what kind of freaks are that polite 
 
D
It's gotta mean they're all up to something 
 
A
so quick before they see it coming 
 
E
time for a pre-emptive strike
 
 
Outro:
 
A D G D A G
A D G D A G
 
END:
Show more

Listen To Weird Al Yankovic Songs

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